It's time for the 2011 edition of: "Pittsburgh Steelers Free Agent Signings That Never Ever Would Happen But Let's Speculate Anyway"

Of course, with the NFL Lock-Mess monster soon to appear, there won't be any signings across the league for months. All the more reason to drum up fantasy sightings and signings for the Black & Yellow with no salary cap in sight.


Bob Sanders — Can you imagine a back end of the Steelers defense with Troy Polamalu and Bob Sanders? Neither guy can stay healthy for the entire year, so why not sign both? Keep Ryan Clark to fill in for the one who is in the cold tub. Plus, "The Eraser" might be acquired a little cheaper with his fragile image (how's 9 games in 3 seasons?). I'll take my chances on Erie's finest at age 29 on a 4 or 5-year deal with 15 million guaranteed at around 8 million per season. Ok, so that's not really cheaper, but after all money is no object.


Nnamdi Asomugha — The 2003 1st-Round draft pick will be the diamond of the 2011 free agent class at age 29. What kind of cash are we talking? Last year, Dunta Robinson got $25.5 million guaranteed, with $57 million total over a 6-year contract, albeit at a couple years younger in age. Darrelle Revis just got $32 million in guarantees on a 4-year deal. Let's say Nnamdi wants $12 mil per, with $30 mil guaranteed. No problem here. If need be, shuffle that $15 million in guaranteed money Ike Taylor has eyed up and slide it over to the former Raider. With Sanders, Polamalu, and Asomugha in the secondary I'll let William Gay start at the other corner spot.


Paul Posluszny — How do you improve on the Steelers LB corps? Sign the former Penn State and Hopewell Vikings captain to rotate with James Farrior and Lawrence Timmons in the middle. Farrior had an amazingly durable year, but he's 36-years old and likely entering his final season. What better way to keep Potsie fresh than with Poz. Better yet, just have Timmons roam like an extra safety and blow people up while Farrior and Posluszny man the middle. No one would ever run on the Steelers. Ever. Cost? $25 million guaranteed, $8 per year.


Shaun Rogers — Beat by a Rodgers in SB45? Add a Rogers for with SB46 in mind. And one that Casey Hampton teamed with at the U of Texas. His last deal was for $42 million over 6-years with Cleveland, but let's give him the 3-year $21 million Big Snack deal and see if he bites. Not that the Steelers need another old defensive lineman, but at least when Aaron Smith tears a bicep muscle this year the team can IR him without a worry.


Jeremy Shockey — At age 31, and recently released by New Orleans, he and agent Drew Rosenhaus are on the prowl. Miami appears interested, and the former UM star may head back to South Beach. Make him an offer he can't refuse: An Antonio Gates-like 5-year, $36 million with $20 in guarantees. A two TE set with Heath Miller and Shockey? Unstoppable.


LeRon McClain — He's 26, ticked off at Baltimore for under-using him, and he's a beast. If Art Rooney II signs the fullback without his coordinator Bruce Arians knowing, maybe Arians will be forced to put him on the field despite vowing never to have a fullback in his offense. Can you imagine the goal line offense with Doug Legursky and McClain leading the way for Rashard Mendenhall? Or just McClain leading the way for himself, Bettis-esqe? This signing would only set the back a few million, a mere drop in the bucket on our fantasy offseason wish list.


Matt Light — We haven't seen much of Patriots QB Tom Brady without Light protecting his blind side. It's time we started, and what better way than snagging Light to play in Pittsburgh. Goodbye Willie Colon, hello three-time pro bowler. Let Max Starks and Flozell Adams battle it out for the RT spot, Light at age 32 should have a few more elite years left. Give him $15 up front, with 3-years, $30 million all told and see what Ben Roethlisberger can do with an actual pocket (he may decide to scramble anyway, but worth a shot).


Santonio Holmes — Bring him back, take down the no-smoking signs.


Mike Vick — In all honesty, I heard Steelers coach Mike Tomlin wanted to bring in Vick for a visit before the Eagles signed him but Ben put the kibosh on it. Two years later, Ben had his Milledgeville incident, so his word means less. And did you see Vick on that Monday night against Washington? Vick can be the Steelers concussion / spinal concussion / suspension / broken toes / bad knee / shoulder joint / appendectomy / motorcycle accident replacement QB should anything arise with Ben (never does). Vick is only 30-years old, and if he's just the #2 guy he won't break down like he did in Philly this year. Give him $100 million, I want to see which QB gives up jersey #7.


Adam Vinatieri — How badly did Shaun Suisham miss that FG in the Super Bowl? Not saying it cost Pittsburgh the game, but here's for Mr. Big Game Automatic making sure it's no longer a concern. Sure, Vinatieri is 38-years old. But he won't be the Jeff Reed problem off the field, and he won't gakk on the field when it counts. He made 26-of-28 FG this past year, so he's still got it. Cue the Janikowski money: 4-years, $16 million.

Yep, it's going to be a busy offseason.

Posted in Ike Taylor, Pittsburgh Penguins, Pittsburgh Steelers

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